Written by: Jane
Fri Oct 21 2022
Recently, I have been questioning myself whether or not I am a boring person... :( I believe I am and I am totally fine with that.
But, why do I feel that way? Okay, before I answer, I think I start to accept that I am an introvert. And because of that, I tend to allow or perhaps encourage myself to isolate myself from social interaction. For instance, I don't go to the office on a daily basis thanks to the working from-home option. Or, when I am at the office I do not involve with extra activities besides my work. I don't want to go to any social events where there are more than five people. I reject any invitations to late-night parties/drinks. Oh, and one more thing, my bad trait is I rarely initiate any conversation with people unless they start first.
Alright, let's get to the point. So, I got to know this colleague at the office (FYI most of my colleagues are working remotely) who happened to work on the same project temporarily. He was so kind to reach out and offered help for whatever I could possibly ask for related to work. And yeah, I was happy because I've always wanted to have a colleague with who I can have lunch or discuss work.
Why did I make it so long to get to the point??? Yeah, so the point is as I get to know people and as I begin to talk to more people I notice that others are doing a lot outside of work. People are doing sports, making art, hanging out at night, going out every Friday, and doing something during the weekend. Here comes my toxic trait...again. Compared to others, my daily routine is to work, cook, study languages, read, watch movies, or hang out with my four friends once in a while. I don't go out during the week. During the weekend I could meet my friends in case they do not have plans with their boyfriends or colleagues ... :((( Oh, I travel sometimes too.
But really, I am so okay. Maybe it is because I am so easily influenced and that's why hearing that makes me keep suspecting myself. I wonder if I am living my life or just existing. In any way, I decided to start being a bit more adventurous. So, I started to plan my week by listing down one thing I would do every day after my working hour. I am excited about it although so far none of the items is involving social interaction. That also triggers my mind that the problem is not about me worrying I am a boring person but it is about me fearing others judging my social connection. I guess I want people to look at me as a socially active person aka an interesting person while in fact, I doesn't (don't) really care about that. I want just a few like-minded friends.
So am I a boring person? Well, I don't mind the answer. For now, I am really content and appreciate the peace. There's only one thing I want to change which is to be more physically active. I enjoy walking and short hike. But, I will challenge myself to go to the gym at least for a month :P. I hope I keep my word. I will update more on how it is going with the challenge.
Yeah, that's it. Happy Friday! (although this is a very undiscoverable blog LOL)